JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable (2016)
Peryite and the Plague of the North
by Bard Baldur Red-Snow
There once was a wizard, who sat in his tower,
Surrounded by a blizzard, summoned from his power,
He ruled over these nords, who he daily made run and cower,
In fear they offered their women, for the evil mage to deflower,
He sat up in his magical home, screwing all of these maids,
Killing any who tried to save them with their nordic raids,
This wizard was a mer…unto their terrible shame,
Their lives were made miserable, but to him it was just a game,
One day the wizard came to town terrorizing once more,
Daring one to challenge him and be sent away to Shor,
None opened their mouths, for they all feared cold death’s door,
So instead they bowed their heads and offered him another whore,
This woman was so fair of skin, brown headed and breasts so fine,
A voice so sweet like honey, and she had the beauty of Kyne,
She was in love, in love!…her hand bound already in marriage,
But it mattered not to all around as they stuck her on his carriage,
Her husband would not stand for it, he challenged all who could hear,
“What kind of nords are you? Not true, not these men who bow in fear!
Is there not any who will stand with me? To save my love from the mage?”
No man stepped forward to him, so off he went in rage.
The man grabbed his axe and shield, and to the tower he ran,
But before he reached the blizzard, he was interrupted by a man,
This man was old and sickly, his skin terribly diseased,
“Halt young warrior, I can help!” Said the man as his breath freezed,
“How can you help me? You are frail and weak.”
“And to that wizard, so are you, his power has reached it’s peak,
Defeat you cannot hope for him if magic you do not wield,
But I can render his magic useless with this magic shield,
But this weapon comes with a price, you must do this for me,
Agree to spread my disease to others and your wife will be free!
I will give you the power…to spread bile in a shower,
Agree to this then save your miss, now off are you to that tower!”
The warrior took the shield from him, agreed then off he went,
The blizzard had taken its tole on him and then his spirit bent,
He raised his bronze shield to block the snow and to his great surprise,
A ward burst from the front of he and shined before his eyes!
With this protection then did he make his way to the mage,
Armed with a mighty weapon, his town would dawn a new age,
With axe in hand as well, he made his way up the long stairs,
He burst down the long tower doors and raised the mage’s hair,
“Who stands there at my broken door? I offer no room and board,
Now stand aside, my word you abide, so I can sheathe my sword!”
“Hands off and away from my woman! Look away from her chest!
I’ve come to take whats mine, for combat is what I know best!”
“You pale skinned monkey, come to me so I can take your life!
Then I shall raise you from the dead so you can see me with your wife!”
With that the mage summoned fire, in his hands it was magically tamed,
The heat spread through the room from him as he cast his mighty flame!
The wizard laughed in triumph as he figured he roasted the man,
But his mighty shield that he did wield left him alive where he did stand,
The wizard stood in disbelief as he saw he wasn’t defeated,
The nord summoned a ward and the mer could not come to believe it,
With axe in hand he charged, and blocked the flame once again,
The nord had reenacted the history of mer and men,
The mer lay dead and the wife was saved, “No longer a slave!”, she said,
He saved his wife from violation, then screwed her on the mer’s bed,
The hero released the other girls and walked back to the village,
And in their joy the nords marched off to the lands to the east to pillage,
The old man came back and told him to keep the shield but he had to pay,
So now the warrior bellowed out bile with a shout when he went in the fray,
A powerful tongue this man was made and the devils he made diseased,
If they lived through the battle, they spread this sick home, and the old man was quite pleased,
The nord was known as the Plague of the North as his fame increased,
No man was mighty enough to beat him, no man no mer and no beast,
He would kill you now or perhaps later on, either way on your flesh crows would feast,
The old man’s brothers always said he was weak, tell that to the mer of the east!
